Jaded

Just when I thought I could salvage some confidence from today's relay challange, I had to go fuck it all up. Thats 2 consecutive setbacks in a row. Well done james. First was regatta, and then today.

My patience is wearing thin and I think it is causing the same effect for people around me.

One line by a friend suddenly struck me when I was on my way home: "nobody takes you seriously". It made me question myself. Am I so flippant that nobody ever takes notice of me? Am I so insignificant that nobody takes me seriously? Am I such a lousy person?

I seem to lack composure and that makes me do lots of rash things which I wouldn't normally do in a rational and logical state of mind. Today's a perfect example. Not gonna go into the details. For those who know, keep it to yourself and for those who don't, keep it that way.

It has been a testy last few weeks, and I thought everything would be better after today. Apparently not.